Land lubber

Jane Redman, Cancer Research UK spokesperson for Warwickshire, added: "Everyone can get involved Swimathon, whether you are the next Duncan Goodhew or a complete land lubber.

Next morning I sat on deck in the sunshine reading while gently rocking on the water pretending that I was no land lubber.

I was booked in for some one-to-one training with the | Land lubber James Robertson instructor from On-Deck, the only accredited maritime school on the island to provide both sailing and powerboat training.

| Land lubber James Robertson | Land lubber James Robertson

A billowing Eos hails for the lady's sails and I am seconded as mate to Moses - wind this, winch that, tie this and knot that, heave ho yer land lubber and Santiago!

Johara Sykes-Davies takes the to air (main) while land lubber Gareth Bicknell learns the basics of the new sport of kitesurfing Pictures: RICHARD WILLIAMS

Lost half its keel, which, if you are a land lubber like me, is apparently part of the bottom.

A BBC spokeswoman said: "Lenny has never done sailing before so he's a real land lubber - but we're sure he'll be fine."

Paul Wadsworth, Cancer Research UK North-east spokesman, said: "Everyone can get involved in The Swim, whether you are the next Mark Foster or a complete land lubber."

So sorry, Mr O'Brien, I'm neither a land lubber or a hero, but I do know that by taking no action sooner or later one of these tankers is going to be used as a bomb by a terrorist group and there could be a catastrophic loss of life and an environmental disaster.

Eventually land lubber JAMES WEATHERUP relaxed enough to enjoy mooching through the countryside, watching the wildlife drift by and tying up outside boaties' pubs.

The pirates of the Moto Trial NI Club are very excited to be given the honours of entertaining all ye land lubbers with the biggest arena event to date.