untimeliness

See Also: STALENESS

1. As modern as tomorrow —Slogan, Royal Worcester Corset Co.
2. As out of date as the black stockings and high shoes worn by inmates of asylums that used to take up city blocks and loom large in the countryside —Eileen Simpson, New York Times/Op-Ed, May 1, 1987
3. As seasonable as snow in summer —John Ray’s Proverbs
4. By the time they take place [dinner parties] the original impulse is lost … like sending a Christmas card into space and hoping an alien finds it on the right date —Maxine Chernoff
5. Dated as a dodo, but who cares —Anon capsule review, television movie listings, New York Times, April, 1987
6. Dead as a failed product launch —Anon

   For other “Dead as” similes which apply to obsolescence,

   See Also: DEATH

7. Dead as an unsuccessful book —Henry James
8. Dead as Greek —Karl Shapiro
9. Dead as Sunday’s paper on Tuesday morning —Anon

   Commonly used variations are “Dead as yesterday’s front page news” and “Dead as last week’s ticker tape.”

10. Extinction, like a thing of beauty, is forever —Brad Leithauser, New York Times Book Review, June 7, 1987

    Another simile that was extracted from an article and featured as an attention-getting blurb.

11. Gone like the carriage-horse —Louis MacNeice

    Poet MacNeice precedes the simile with this question: “What’s become of the squadron of butlers, valets, grooms and second housemaids?” Clearly, appropriate substitutions for the carriage-horse could give rise to as many similes beginning with “Gone like” as there are obsolete customs and objects. “Gone … like five-cent candy and the drainboard on the sink” from a novel by Babs H. Deal offers just one possibility.

12. Good that comes too late is as good as nothing —Thomas Fuller
13. It’s a little like being given the captaincy of the Titanic after it hit the ice floe —Senator Lawton Chiles of Florida, quoted in many newspapers on prospect of heading Senate budget committee, after November, 1986, Democratic victory

    See Also: FUTILITY

14. Like a punchline of a bad joke, the moment passed —T. Coraghessan Boyle
15. (Conflicts as) new as each generation —Anon, jacket copy

    Because similes are so often pulled out from book jacket copy, the more one can appropriately include, the better; and so, this and the “Old as literature” comparison below were both featured on one book jacket.

16. New as tomorrow —Slogan, dictaphone company
17. (Passions and conflicts as) old as literature —Anon book jacket copy
18. No day is so dead as the day before yesterday —W. Somerset Maugham
19. Obsolete as books in leather bindings —Louis MacNeice
20. Outdated like a last year’s almanac —John Greenleaf Whittier
21. Timing … as elegant as that of the Budapest String Quartet —Karl Shapiro
22. (The reference library is quite) unfrequented … like the mausoleum of a once-proud family that has died out —Robert Barnard