Emily's frantic e-mails to best friend Dru portray her spiraling descent-further exacerbated by placement in the fifth form (with younger classmates--gack!), school uniforms, an "ancient" but overly protective father, a dim-witted but well-meaning mother, a sexually progressive older sister, a perverted underwear drawer poltergeist,
snickerers Ann and Bee, and Tash, a promiscuous competitor in Emily's quest to win the heart of hunkalicious Aidan (that is, if she doesn't decide to go for dishy Devon, marry heartthrob actor Oded Fehr, or forget them all and go for Fang first).