diddlysquat

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Apart from knowing how to put on a musical I am qualified to do diddlysquat.

IN a revelation about as shocking as producers admitting autotune was used on The X Factor, finalist Katie Waissel has revealed she's heard diddlysquat from mentor Cheryl Cole since the show ended.

"You all know we deserved something out of the game but we've got nil, nowt, diddlysquat," said McCarthy.

Not quite so amazing was the snake-adorned porcelain skull which made Fiona jump and the ram's head snuff box: "A bit of shocker, but I ended up taking snuff from it and that was actually good fun." Most of the stuff that people bring is worth diddlysquat.

When that achieved diddlysquat, the Midlands housewife and teacher took things further and started a campaign to get smut off the telly.

That resulted in lifting the trophy meaning diddlysquat to the players of Cardiff, Swansea and Wrexham, who rightly thought they had much bigger fish to fry.

To be perfectly honest, diddlysquat. However, it does make for a good headline!

None of this means diddlysquat if you aren't able to tell which deer are likely to jump the string.

The hour-long classes begin and end right on time, avoiding the typical "10 minutes you don't do diddlysquat," as Murphy puts it.

And diddlysquat does not mean nothing, it means to squat down and, er, do what this exhibition seems to be all about!